I have to wake up in a couple of hours and catch the train to Maastricht… I’m not looking forward to the upcoming train ride as I will have to switch twice and I do have two big bags, a backpack, a laptop and sleeping bag…It is really hard for me to describe this summer, probably even harder to describe everything that happened from January onwards. It has been the most grueling 8 months of my life. Just a series of constant frustrating episodes, frustration caused by a series of denied scholarships, shitty paperwork, incapable-on-holiday office workers, an extremely complicated legal system, people unwilling to give me a room and the list could go on…My problems are far from solved and I never would’ve imagined that it will be this difficult to continue the next phase in my life…My energy, body and mind is just sacked and my self confidence level hit rock-bottom. Yes, this is the truth and I cannot keep it to my self. Too many factors in my life right now are in other people’s hands…Everything is hanging in the air at the present moment. I have absolutely no idea when I am going to find a room, if I will be allowed to work in the upcoming months, if I am going to get the tax refund etc… I didn’t leave anything to chance and tried doing everything in time, but sometimes things don’t work out the way you planned them… But amongst all this I found people who I can rely on. It would’ve been an excrutiating period without the moral support of my family, the dedication of my manager, the poker nights of my coworkers, the prayers of MZ and the long talks with Alex. I do have to thank these people for being there for me in a time of my life when my self confidence is dwindling. It’s not easy to change homes again, to change home in another country as well. It is not easy for an Eastern European to launch/relaunch himself in one of the most complicated Western European systems. I do have my studies again and this will have to be my main focus, so I do hope that all my other problems will get solved, in order for me to be able to enjoy life in its fullest once again…I know that without the help of these people I wouldn’t have made it so far. It does take oneself’s determination, but it is not enough. It is a combined effort of the person and the people who surround him and are willing to give him a helping hand…Life has many tricks up his sleeve, but then again this is how you learn how to appreciate people around you. Anyone who reads this, please help out a foreigner if he is in need of it. A meal, a place to sleep overnight, a kind gesture can mean a lot… I do accept that right now certain parts of my life depend on other people so I just have to wait it out and see what happens. As MZ says “Life tests great thinkers”…Thanks for the support of all of you.
Utrecht 2009, 30th of Aug.