This is it…You’re an EU citizen for almost a year now, or not? In the grand Union there are second ranked… You were born in a communist country and you’re not the one who can do something about it. Possibly you would’ve liked it if they delivered you to this world somewhere in the West and you’re not living the same life that one of your colleague’s granny in the ‘50s. Of course this is not enough, you had to be part of a minority in a country where in the eyes of the majority you’re still a bozgor. You are not like them. You go to your so called Mother Country (Hungary) and they stare at you when you call yourself Hungarian. Then how can you expect from a westerner to understand where you come from but you are not really that person where you were born? You have to continue your studies in other languages but not your mother tongue. This is not enough, but you try in a third language just to be someone in the future. And then you start thinking that probably an American is two steps ahead of you. You have to struggle a lot until you reach the level that seams natural to them. It’s not enough that you arrive at this level but you want more. Because your fate dictates it, it’s in your genes; this is what your history shows you, this is everything you are… And you want more but they stop you, they don’t allow you to move on. Why? Because you are just another Romanian Eastern European citizen who is still not an EU citizen. That sort off secondary spear tire. This is the time when you hold together with your Bulgarian counterpart and look ahead. They don’t understand who you are in the West, in the East they don’t want to know. Millions work abroad, humiliate themselves, smile. Probably some of them finished a university and now they are picking strawberries somewhere. You get used to it. Sometimes you loose your pride but feel stronger than the rest. A Europe of unity, harmony and equality. You hear this bullshit all around you. Nobody is equal. This is a term that doesn’t exist. You are not equal from the day of your birth. Your eyes are possibly blue and not black, maybe you were born in a palace or in a dusty old shack, maybe in Eastern and not in Western Europe, maybe you have to struggle three times more than the one besides you… It makes you wonder. IS everything worth it? The struggle, the battle, sometimes the humiliation. Because you see that for people around you it’s much easier. Mommy’s high salary, the right to work, his monthly spending money which is larger than your mom’s salary. And you are not allowed to work ‘cause you dropped in from somewhere in the East and still need papers. Probably until next year you’ll find somewhere a humiliating job. But you don’t care. You just want to earn an honest living. And they don’t even allow you to do this. Well yes. These Eastern Europeans steal our jobs. But which Westerner would take on those jobs? Their countries are overrun by foreign immigrants, but forget that hundreds of years ago no one asked Mobutu tribal chief if he liked the white conquerors and settlers… So you are second-ranked although you know you have to struggle three times more… I wrote all of this because of an instantaneous anger. A couple of hours and the smile comes back on your face, living the world of the equal. Nice dream….
Utrecht, 12th of September 2007